joy – SHIFT

What’s on Your Bucket List?

September 1, 2019 deniseshift

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A friend of mine sustained a head injury a little while ago. He went to sleep that night and has not regained consciousness since. In my mind I cannot reconcile how he could have been alive and well one day, and comatose the next. I send him distance healing energy every night and wait every day to hear news from his family. It has really brought to the forefront for me, how precious, and sometimes short, this beautiful life can be. I wonder if there were still a lot of things he wanted to do. And I wonder if he will have the opportunity to do them, or if that chance has passed him by now. It has made me question whether I am allowing my dreams to slip away for the sake of safety and security, by working at a full-time job that does not feed my soul, but pays the bills.

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I am also reminded daily about the false promises of the “safe and secure” job, when I observe how my youngest daughter lives her life. She has had a bucket list for years. I think at last count there were hundreds of things on it. As she bravely and boldly accomplishes each thing, she crosses it off the list. And then adds another dream to the list, in its place. A few weekends ago she ran a half marathon…a dream that had been on her list for a long time. And this, despite having chronic pain from injuries sustained in a bad car accident several years ago. She is an example of living life in joy. I sat on the sidelines at home and cheered her on virtually, through the miracle of technology.

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I seem to have no problem cheering others on as they seek and fulfill their dreams. I wonder what hampers me from doing the same for myself. What keeps me on the sidelines of my own life? It’s as if I’ve sacrificed making a life, for making a living. Even though they can be one and the same, for me right now, they are not. I realized that I have been in a holding pattern, waiting for external appreciation and consideration, when the truth is, I need to give those things to myself. A Course in Miracles says, “Only what you have not given can be lacking in any situation.“ (T-17.VII.4-1) A new moon in Virgo, and new beginnings. Time to make a bucket list, and put myself and my dreams right at the top! I’ve got a fresh new journal just waiting for me!! I’m wondering what would be on your bucket list, if you had one.

No Matter the Question, Love is the Answer

August 11, 2019 deniseshift

I had the absolute privilege of performing a pagan wedding ceremony yesterday for a beautiful couple. There is something so precious and life-affirming about celebrating love. Unlike some of the other things that I “do” in my life, when I am creating and holding space in ceremony, I can feel my whole self just “being”. The bride was exquisite, and the groom was adorable in his anticipation of seeing the woman of his dreams join him at the altar. The love was palpable in the air. Not just between the couple getting married, but with everyone who was witnessing the ceremony as well. I am feeling so blessed to have been a part of this couple’s special day. To have had a glimpse into, and a reminder of, the power of love.

There is so much going on in the world right now that would indicate that as a species, we are determined to annihilate ourselves. The media is filled with stories of hatred, and fear. There are days when I have more questions than answers. Sometimes it can be really difficult to find a kernel of hope, or a space of sanctuary from the insanity. And then, in a gazebo, in a park, in a town that barely makes it onto a map, 2 people brought the highest of themselves together to remind us of the truth about life. For 30 minutes, one pin point on the planet was transformed by love. And then the impact of that 30 minutes rippled out into the wider world; via the bride’s laughter echoing through the trees in the park as pictures were being taken, through the smiles on the peoples’ faces in the park who got to witness the ceremony because they just happened to be in the park that day, by the joy that I got to carry into my world as a result of having been part of such a momentous occasion. And the ripples just keep expanding.

I am so grateful to have been reminded that regardless of what is going on in the world at large, each of us can bring our own light and our own love into our tiny part of it. That what my seem small in the grand scheme of things, is actually huge in all the ways that matter. And that no matter what questions I may have about the future of our planet, love is the answer.

Winning the Lottery of Life

June 24, 2018June 30, 2018 deniseshift

A warm hello from the other side. I’m not quite sure from the other side of what. All I know is that I’ve been absent for quite a while, feeling a bit lost on the roller coaster ride of life. When I’m in that space I tend to retreat, and try to make sense of the world, and perhaps that is the very time I need to be reaching out and connecting with all of you from the mess. From the place of the unknown. Maybe, just maybe, you’re in that place too and would like to feel like you’re not alone. Or maybe you’ve reached the other side of that space, and hearing about how someone else is navigating it will be a reminder to you of how far you’ve come.

I got a bit of clarity on my drive to work the other day. I have a dear friend who buys lottery tickets often. We’ve had some great conversations about what she’ll do with the money when she wins! As I was driving I started to ask myself what I would do with my days if a big pile of money landed in my lap, and finances were no longer a barrier to living my heart’s desire. What would I do with my time/life? As I ran down the litany of things I am currently doing, and the things I have contemplated doing, I got a “no” to each of them. This left me a bit perplexed. Sitting in that place of the unknown, and allowing the comforting ritual of driving to envelop me, slowly from the depths of me the following bubbled up to the surface, “Oh my God, I’d go away some place tranquil and write.” I would spend my days, and late into the nights that sometimes stretched into early mornings, being immersed in, and dancing with the magic of words. Trying, as every writer before me has tried, to touch the soul of another. To reach beyond the surface, and the ordinary, and the mundane, into the ground of our being and to the bigger truths of life.

And then I had to ask myself the question, “Why am I not doing something that feeds my soul and brings me joy every day?” I don’t need to go somewhere else to write. I can create a space of tranquility right where I am. I don’t need to have a pile of money to write. I can make a commitment to myself to honour my soul and write. And so, to honour my commitment to myself (and to a dear soul sister who has agreed to be my accountability partner) I am recommitting myself to writing in my blog every week. I have no idea what I’ll write about. All I know for sure is that I need to write. Then I will feel like I’ve won the lottery, because I will be doing something that brings me absolute joy. If you could do anything, and money wasn’t an object, what would you be doing? Can you bring a little bit of whatever that is into your life right now? What brings you absolute joy? I’d love to know.