A friend of mine sustained a head injury a little while ago. He went to sleep that night and has not regained consciousness since. In my mind I cannot reconcile how he could have been alive and well one day, and comatose the next. I send him distance healing energy every night and wait every day to hear news from his family. It has really brought to the forefront for me, how precious, and sometimes short, this beautiful life can be. I wonder if there were still a lot of things he wanted to do. And I wonder if he will have the opportunity to do them, or if that chance has passed him by now. It has made me question whether I am allowing my dreams to slip away for the sake of safety and security, by working at a full-time job that does not feed my soul, but pays the bills.
I am also reminded daily about the false promises of the “safe and secure” job, when I observe how my youngest daughter lives her life. She has had a bucket list for years. I think at last count there were hundreds of things on it. As she bravely and boldly accomplishes each thing, she crosses it off the list. And then adds another dream to the list, in its place. A few weekends ago she ran a half marathon…a dream that had been on her list for a long time. And this, despite having chronic pain from injuries sustained in a bad car accident several years ago. She is an example of living life in joy. I sat on the sidelines at home and cheered her on virtually, through the miracle of technology.
I seem to have no problem cheering others on as they seek and fulfill their dreams. I wonder what hampers me from doing the same for myself. What keeps me on the sidelines of my own life? It’s as if I’ve sacrificed making a life, for making a living. Even though they can be one and the same, for me right now, they are not. I realized that I have been in a holding pattern, waiting for external appreciation and consideration, when the truth is, I need to give those things to myself. A Course in Miracles says, “Only what you have not given can be lacking in any situation.“ (T-17.VII.4-1) A new moon in Virgo, and new beginnings. Time to make a bucket list, and put myself and my dreams right at the top! I’ve got a fresh new journal just waiting for me!! I’m wondering what would be on your bucket list, if you had one.